Follow the Leader

To say I have an active child would be an understatement.  He is insanely active!  So active that he fights sleep like its no ones business.  Every time I go to put him down for a nap or bed, I leave his room with scratches up and down my neck, drool and snot all over my shoulder and chest.  It looks like I have been through a cat fight and lost.  It's as if he is afraid he is going to miss something.  Miss what?  All the exciting things like folding the laundry, doing the laundry, cleaning, and housework.  To be honest, I wish I were napping and missing out on all these things.  All in all, napping and getting to sleep has been hell!  But we have been lucky.  It's usually just the getting to sleep part that is hard, but once he is down he is down for the count.

At the beginning, napping was completely out of the picture until he hit three months.  But since then he has been awesome! Napping at least two to two and half hours at a time twice a day! It has been pure bliss.  I can actually get things done, unlike before and I got a little peace and quiet to myself.  Well, like they say all good things must come to an end.  Dammit!

In trying to find our balance that I have talked about, Proctor and I wanted a little more freedom and decided a seven o'clock instead of a six thirty bedtime would be best.  That way we could do early dinners, meet up with people; I mean we are his parents, we make the rules, he is just going to have adapt.  

So for the first few days things seemed okay.  His naps got shorter, but he was still napping over all and it appeared he had adjusted or so we thought.  We suffered through another runny nose, coughing spell, four month check up, postponed his vaccinations until his nose cleared up, his ears and throat looked great, but something was off.  Even though my pediatrician thinks I am crazy, I am convinced that he might be an early teether between the constant biting (biting any and EVERY thing!), the excessive drool and his little bottom gums, which are just slightly swollen but nothing piercing his gums yet.  But I still couldn't figure out why Harvey was melting down?  Screaming for an hour just to take a nap, I mean really?  I kept racking my brain thinking, what's wrong with my baby?  Who has possessed my child?  What am I doing wrong?

Finally, I realized looking at his swollen eyes, he is overly tired.  He is completely healthy, he's not in pain, he is well fed, but my child is spent.  I felt horrible.  Proctor and I had selfishly pushed up his bedtime for us, not him.  Not even thinking thirty minutes would completely ruin his day.  We never thought about how he would react.  I mean he's just four and a half months old, how could this little change really effect him?  He's just not ready and I now know that and feel guilty for pushing.  I mean we are his parents, we know what is best for him.  Of course for the obvious things, but what do we really know?

Sometimes I think it's Harvey who is teaching us more than we are him.  He is teaching us the importance of patience, the meaning of true, unconditional love, the simple joy of a smile and the sound of laughter, but most importantly he is teaching us to slow down, enjoy life, and these special moments.  Because lets face it in thirteen plus years, his only response to us will be "Nothing" or "I don't know". He won't want us around or god forbid be seen with Proctor or I and the only thing we will be good for is money and the car keys.  So until that day comes, I am going to enjoy this because I know once he is older, I am going to miss it.

So one day we will rejoin society, have a later bedtime, join others for drinks and dinner, but until then Harvey, I give in for now and will just follow your lead.

Finding the Balance

So the time has come .... We need a babysitter.  The hubs and I have an event coming up soon and it's time to stop relying on family members to watch Harvey. Before becoming a mother, I never understood what the big deal was.  I mean mom and dad need a break, they need a night away and need some fun, so just call the teenage girl up the street, pay her some money so she can go hang out at the mall with all the other tweens and call it a day! After all, I myself babysat three children at the ripe old age of thirteen, so what is the big deal?

Well now that I'm a mom myself that idea has been shot to hell! Because, I am not leaving my child with someone who can't even drive a car! Becoming a mom has changed my view of the world completely.  I have always been pretty laid back and go with the flow and now that I have Harvey, I am more naratic (I admit it!). I don't know what it is, but you always assume something bad is going to happen if your not there. Weird I know, but its true.  

It's a scary thought leaving your child in the care of someone else.  My luck the ONE time I get a babysitter something will happen. But it's time, just like it was time to move him into his crib at seven weeks old, just like it was time to pack up all his old clothes and move them out of his room, it's just time.  My husband and I need some time to ourselves; in fact we have only had one date night since the birth of Harvey. We need to meet up with friends for dinner and drinks, we want to go to our friends wedding in October, we need to get our fun back! We certainly won't be staying out until 3 am dancing on tables and ordering Chanellos pizza, like the good old days, but we need to work on the balance. The balance of work, parenting, alone time, and family time is all a juggle and we are new to this. So, the search for the "perfect" babysitter began a few days ago.

After making a few calls, we finally have a sitter.  Her name I will not mention, but she is sweet, seems responsible, and loves children. This will most likely be the easiest babysitting job she will ever have. She will arrive after Harvey is already asleep and we will give him another bottle once we return home, so honestly she's getting paid to sit on our couch and watch TV. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me!  But I feel sorry for this sweet girl! Because the reality of it is that she has no idea what she is getting into.  God help her.

Sure the night of the event I will have it together .... must remain calm and keep my composure. But the reality is that I will most likely burst into tears the minute we pull out of the driveway, have mascara running down my face; then will nervously start drinking wine once at the party, get accidently tipsy, and then start sending this innocent girl text messages just to "check in". I will probably friend her on Facebook, read her homepage everyday, and then she will read my blog see this entry and then she will NEVER return any of my calls or babysit for me again.  This is when Proctor steps in.

Proctor is such a calming force in my life. He always has a way of putting things into perspective and reassures me that things always have a way of working themselves out. And he's right. How he has handled my new nerotic ways is beyond me, but I am so grateful he can. So here is to promising myself not to harass this poor girl, take a deep breath and breathe, it will all be ok. It is time. I will be ready. I promise.

Look who joined the party!

Well I caved!  I am not sure how or why the worst writer in the WORLD is deciding to write a blog, but what the hell, right?  I have a husband I adore, am a new mom to the sweetest four month old named Harvey, and am the proud owner of a doggie school drop out.  And for the first time in six and a half years I have some down time, so why not use it!

What I will "blog" about who knows, but I have way to many awkward/funny stories not to share.  So cheers to a new place where I can go, recharge, vent, laugh, cry, and relax!

(Sadly, my husband will have to check my punctuation before posting all entries .... that is just pathetic and hopefully my son will never ask me to proofread his school papers.  So we will see how many post will actually get written!)